Faith

As we go about sharing our exciting news, talking of the future, trying to eat healthy things, and visiting maternity wards at area hospitals to help us narrow down a doctor, I find myself stopping at times to take in the reality that much of this journey is beyond our control. No matter what we do that is within our control, there is still a chance of receiving bad news when we go back for another ultrasound. The waiting is excruciating and no matter what news we hear on Friday, I'm discovering that this journey of pregnancy is fragile not only now, but in these future months. I find myself mostly being optimistic and thinking positively yet fear sometimes sneaks in and the reality hits that my body has never done this pregnancy thing before and there are no guarantees. I find my faith deepening as I am gently reminded that I must let go of what is out of my control and rely on someone greater than myself. When my dad died, a dear family friend gave my mom, sister, and I each a small poster with the following quote "When you come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen. You will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly." This poster has followed me over these twenty years since and has provided inspiration through life's ups and downs. I recently found a card with this same quote that shows a drawing of a girl bent over with arms spread and one leg kicked back, looking like she's ready to take off in flight. Although I cannot control what happens with this little being inside of me, I can choose my focus. I can wallow in the worry and the what ifs of the unknown or I can move forward day by day, with faith and optimism knowing that God is in control. I choose to move forward in faith. Out go my arms...I'm ready for take off!